GOLDEN GLOBES OF ENDLESS TORTURE
Why do I do this? Why do I watch the preshow for the Golden Globes? It's not for the fashion. I could care less about how Eva Longoria had to hire a trainer to get her in shape for her Desperate Housewives lingerie scenes. And it's certainly not for the self-congratulatory vamping of camera hogs like Kevin Spacey and Kathy Griffin or that Star Jones is "girlfriends" with Debra Messing and Jennifer Garner. (It might be in order to calculate the depth of the dimple in Orlando Bloom's cheek. But I'm not revealing anything here.)
I guess the real reason I watch is so that when it ends, I know the real show of Endless Torture will be starting. I had thought that I would liveblog it, but I've got a deadline for something that's actually resulting in a paycheck. Instead of the liveblog, look here at the end of the night for my collected thoughts on the Golden Globes, in no particular order. Snark may be in attendance.