LOOK TO THE COOKIE

At work: The skinniest woman I’ve ever seen just came back from the cafeteria with the biggest cookie I’ve ever seen. It was the size of her head. And it wasn’t even her whole lunch—said dessert was atop a gloriously large container containing what, kashrut aside, would have been my other noontime nemesis: the burger and fries combo. I went back to my desk and ate my regular lunch of a salad, cauliflower and brussel sprouts.

Which leads me to the inevitable question: Can one person’s metabolism be surgically extracted, and reimplanted in another, less blonde, but more deserving person? This may be worth investigating.

LOOK TO THE COOKIE

At work: The skinniest woman I’ve ever seen just came back from the cafeteria with the biggest cookie I’ve ever seen. It was the size of her head. And it wasn’t even her whole lunch—said dessert was atop a gloriously large container containing what, kashrut aside, would have been my other noontime nemesis: the burger and fries combo. I went back to my desk and ate my regular lunch of a salad, cauliflower and brussel sprouts.

Which leads me to the inevitable question: Can one person’s metabolism be surgically extracted, and reimplanted in another, less blonde, but more deserving person? This may be worth investigating.