You're Invited...to Shabbat Dinner with the Material Girl

Dear Madonna,

Just heard the news about you canceling Friday night concerts for the rest of your tour. Mazal tov! With our history, I know that this represents a Bat Mitzvah of sorts--moving out of the childhood of your affiliation with Judaism and assuming your responsibilities as a not-quite-Jewish-but-extremely-friendly-to-Kabbalah woman. In the old days, they would've said, "today you are a fountain pen!"

But times not being olden, and given the publicity around your latest decision to embrace the Sabbath, I hope you'll reconsider my long-standing invitation to Shabbat dinner. As I told you last year when you announced that your "Kabbalah name" is Esther (a brilliant homage to my karaoke rendition of "Like a Prayer" that I MUCH appreciate), my place isn't much, I know, but when it comes to Shabbos in the big city, mi studio es su studio. Call it our little Isla Bonita in the center of the overwhelming city. Just let me know if you have any food allergies or preferences. (I usually get Zomick's challah, but the whole wheat kind. I hope that's organic enough for you.) It's all kosher, of course!

If you want, you can stay by me for Shabbos--my futon definitely works. But I'm warning you, my apartment's way small. If you're bringing Guy, Lola and Rocco, we'll have to borrow an air mattress. Or, there's a Days Inn not far from my apartment--that might be a smart way to get around the space issue while still remaining thrifty.

We also must discuss where you'd feel most comfortable, synagogue-wise. Of course, I'd love to take you to my Upper West Side spiritual home, where we could potentially sit near Jerry Stiller, but maybe you'd be more at home at Carlebach, where you and MJ could potentially have a dance-off to raise money for the Kabbalah Centre. I'll check the papers to see if Shmuely Boteach's in town.

Saturday afternoon, I figure we'll picnic in Riverside Park after shul--it's a little more private than Central Park. Hope that's ok. Of course, I'll bring the sunblock and the study materials. You're still on the tractate of Sanhedrin, right? If you'd like to work on your accent, I'll invite my British friends--consider it your own personal pronunciation clinic!

Looking forward to seeing you, Madge!

Your sister in Judaism,
Esther

PS: What up with those ticket prices, girlfriend? They are downright unhaimish! Cut a freelancer a break: I'll make dinner, you hook me up with the tix, and we'll call it even...

You're Invited...to Shabbat Dinner with the Material Girl

Dear Madonna,

Just heard the news about you canceling Friday night concerts for the rest of your tour. Mazal tov! With our history, I know that this represents a Bat Mitzvah of sorts--moving out of the childhood of your affiliation with Judaism and assuming your responsibilities as a not-quite-Jewish-but-extremely-friendly-to-Kabbalah woman. In the old days, they would've said, "today you are a fountain pen!"

But times not being olden, and given the publicity around your latest decision to embrace the Sabbath, I hope you'll reconsider my long-standing invitation to Shabbat dinner. As I told you last year when you announced that your "Kabbalah name" is Esther (a brilliant homage to my karaoke rendition of "Like a Prayer" that I MUCH appreciate), my place isn't much, I know, but when it comes to Shabbos in the big city, mi studio es su studio. Call it our little Isla Bonita in the center of the overwhelming city. Just let me know if you have any food allergies or preferences. (I usually get Zomick's challah, but the whole wheat kind. I hope that's organic enough for you.) It's all kosher, of course!

If you want, you can stay by me for Shabbos--my futon definitely works. But I'm warning you, my apartment's way small. If you're bringing Guy, Lola and Rocco, we'll have to borrow an air mattress. Or, there's a Days Inn not far from my apartment--that might be a smart way to get around the space issue while still remaining thrifty.

We also must discuss where you'd feel most comfortable, synagogue-wise. Of course, I'd love to take you to my Upper West Side spiritual home, where we could potentially sit near Jerry Stiller, but maybe you'd be more at home at Carlebach, where you and MJ could potentially have a dance-off to raise money for the Kabbalah Centre. I'll check the papers to see if Shmuely Boteach's in town.

Saturday afternoon, I figure we'll picnic in Riverside Park after shul--it's a little more private than Central Park. Hope that's ok. Of course, I'll bring the sunblock and the study materials. You're still on the tractate of Sanhedrin, right? If you'd like to work on your accent, I'll invite my British friends--consider it your own personal pronunciation clinic!

Looking forward to seeing you, Madge!

Your sister in Judaism,
Esther

PS: What up with those ticket prices, girlfriend? They are downright unhaimish! Cut a freelancer a break: I'll make dinner, you hook me up with the tix, and we'll call it even...