Another Letter from the Yeshiva Girl to the Material Girl

Dear Madonna,

OMG, is it true? I read in the New York Post that you and actress Debi "Devorah" Mazar are no longer B.F.F.! That so blows. Are you, like, mad at her for not embracing all of those Sefirot of Kabbalah you're always talking about? I'd like to think that even if you found out that I totally thought Yoga was a crock of crap (which I don't, Madge, I DON'T!!! Downward dog rules!!) we'd still be friends, wouldn't we? Friendship goes beyond Shabbos, you know.

We have a bond! We wear the same red ayin horah bracelets, you, me and Brit, as a sign that we're B.F.F...best friends forever...You are still hangin' with Bracha Spears, right? I would be so majorly surprised if you had a falling-out with her. You are sooooo non-sexual soulmates--you're like twins separated by twenty-five (oops, I meant twenty, sorry) years.

I totally forgot to ask...what did you and Guy do for Passover? Were you by Shmuely, or did you and Gwynnie get together to discuss her rabbinic roots, like you guys have been threatening to, LOL...Kidding, I know Gwynnie's all preggers and everything, and probably had to turn in early, so I'm sure you and Guy just had some quiet seders at home. But remember, next year, you can totally come home with me. My mom said I could always bring someone--I think she expects me to bring my non-existent boyfriend, but I'm sure you'd be a welcome addition to our Seder table.

So, have you decided about Shabbat dinner yet? I don't want to put any pressure on you, but I've been invited somewhere else and I wanted to know what to tell them. So write me back and let me know if I need to clean my apartment in preparation for your arrival, O Sabbath Queen of Pop!

S.W.A.K.C.A.L.W.S (Sealed with a kiss 'cause a lick won't stick)!

Your sister in Judaism,
Esther

Another Letter from the Yeshiva Girl to the Material Girl

Dear Madonna,

OMG, is it true? I read in the New York Post that you and actress Debi "Devorah" Mazar are no longer B.F.F.! That so blows. Are you, like, mad at her for not embracing all of those Sefirot of Kabbalah you're always talking about? I'd like to think that even if you found out that I totally thought Yoga was a crock of crap (which I don't, Madge, I DON'T!!! Downward dog rules!!) we'd still be friends, wouldn't we? Friendship goes beyond Shabbos, you know.

We have a bond! We wear the same red ayin horah bracelets, you, me and Brit, as a sign that we're B.F.F...best friends forever...You are still hangin' with Bracha Spears, right? I would be so majorly surprised if you had a falling-out with her. You are sooooo non-sexual soulmates--you're like twins separated by twenty-five (oops, I meant twenty, sorry) years.

I totally forgot to ask...what did you and Guy do for Passover? Were you by Shmuely, or did you and Gwynnie get together to discuss her rabbinic roots, like you guys have been threatening to, LOL...Kidding, I know Gwynnie's all preggers and everything, and probably had to turn in early, so I'm sure you and Guy just had some quiet seders at home. But remember, next year, you can totally come home with me. My mom said I could always bring someone--I think she expects me to bring my non-existent boyfriend, but I'm sure you'd be a welcome addition to our Seder table.

So, have you decided about Shabbat dinner yet? I don't want to put any pressure on you, but I've been invited somewhere else and I wanted to know what to tell them. So write me back and let me know if I need to clean my apartment in preparation for your arrival, O Sabbath Queen of Pop!

S.W.A.K.C.A.L.W.S (Sealed with a kiss 'cause a lick won't stick)!

Your sister in Judaism,
Esther