AMERICAN IDOLATRY

(Note to J.J. Abrams: As soon as Lost comes back with a new ep, I'm yours again, baby. But till then, I'm all about the Idol. A straight-up Idolater. Idolicious.)

Simon to Victor:
"If you manage to get a number one record in the next six months, I'll give you $100,000."

That is sheer genius. Watch the same bozos who gave William Hung a contract step up and give this guy a ludicrous, laughable contract just to prove Simon Cowell wrong.

Jessica to camera:
"Simon says I have the most talent of everyone here. That I'm only 16 and I have this amazing voice."

What Simon actually said about Jessica:
"You are nowhere near ready. You need a lot of work. A lot of work."

This is why people love this show. Because people have incredibly intricate delusions of grandeur. And because we wouldn't be Americans if we didn't enjoy seeing people's dreams crushed and obliterated on national television.

AMERICAN IDOLATRY

(Note to J.J. Abrams: As soon as Lost comes back with a new ep, I'm yours again, baby. But till then, I'm all about the Idol. A straight-up Idolater. Idolicious.)

Simon to Victor:
"If you manage to get a number one record in the next six months, I'll give you $100,000."

That is sheer genius. Watch the same bozos who gave William Hung a contract step up and give this guy a ludicrous, laughable contract just to prove Simon Cowell wrong.

Jessica to camera:
"Simon says I have the most talent of everyone here. That I'm only 16 and I have this amazing voice."

What Simon actually said about Jessica:
"You are nowhere near ready. You need a lot of work. A lot of work."

This is why people love this show. Because people have incredibly intricate delusions of grandeur. And because we wouldn't be Americans if we didn't enjoy seeing people's dreams crushed and obliterated on national television.