Is your apartment a mess? Did you ever go out with someone and have a great time, never to hear from that person again? Got cancer? Credit problems? Brittle fingernails? Flat, lifeless hair? Genocide? Left with the feeling it's all your fault, and that you've been abandoned by God?
Well, you were right. It was all your fault. And God had abandoned you. But now there's something you can do about it...And now, coming to you from Amazing Inventions and London's Kabbalah Centre via the BBC, the catch-all excuse you've all been waiting for...
Talking about the wartime massacre of the Jews, Mr Yardeni said: "Just to tell you another thing about the six million Jews that were killed in the Holocaust: the question was that the Light was blocked. They didn't use Kabbalah."
If you only had had Kabbalah in your life, your Light would be unblocked and all those pesky problems, from matters of the heart to the Holocaust, would vanish in a blinding brilliance rivaled only by Madonna's diamond "E" necklace.
I know what you're saying...Kabbalah? It's too easy. But that's what makes it great!
And everything you need to get started is in this Kabbalah starter kit. It contains two pieces of red string, a 3-oz. bottle of extra-blessed Light-N-Tasti Kabbalah water, a guide to using your strings (including seven Kabbalah-water-based recipes) and a copy of Madonna's American Life CD. Plus, if you act now, we'll throw in not one, not two, but three extra red strings, ABSOLUTELY FREE! (Zohar not included.)
Why wait, when Kabbalah can be yours, for immediate use and the guaranteed* solution of all your problems? Call today.
*Not a guarantee.
Inspiration via Jewlicious.