NEW CELEB TREND: KABBALECTOMIES
Looks like I'll be getting my name back. Both Madonna and Britney (or as Madge likes to call her, Mini-Me) are unhappy with the celebrity trend they helped to create, and are now abandoning their "Jewish enlightenment."
I guess we'll see how successful that Rosh Hashanah Kabbalah trip to Israel is. (I guess Donna Karan and Marla Maples are still going...)
DUDE, WHERE'S MY DONATION?
Madonna demands an accounting of where her donations to the Kabbalah Centre have gone--apparently, she had designated them for certain projects, and suspects that her funds are being misused. As a donor, she should absolutely be entitled to this information. As far as I'm concerned, if she doesn't get it, she should become disenchanted with the whole thing. Maybe Tom Cruise and John Travolta are looking for a third megastar over at the Church of Scientology.
NOT A GIRL, NOT YET A WOMAN (BUT DEFINITELY ANNOYING)
Britney's Christian parents are sighing with relief that their daughter has given up her somewhat insane (not to mention totally invented and historically unprecedented) idea of getting married in a "Kabbalah ceremony." Plus, Brit-fiance and daddy-of-another-woman's-child Kevin Federine is Catholic, so this new development pleases both sides. And anyone who's been privy to wedding preparations knows how rare that can be...
"PAGING DEMI AND ASHTON..."
Kids, there's still room in the escape pod for you guys. Seats are going fast, so reserve your spots now!
Inspired by Jewschool.