Monday, August 02, 2004

JEWISH EDITOR PRESENTS "GIFT" TO TERRORIST GROUP

SPECIAL TO MY URBAN KVETCH—New York, August 2, 2004—In what is possibly the first incident of gift-giving by a Jewess to a terrorist group, it was announced today that an anonymous New York area writer/editor has bought al-Qaeda a “u.”

“I know other editors have been troubled by the visual esthetic of the name al-Qaeda,” the wordsmith, who insisted on anonymity for fear of criticism from the Jewish community, said today in an exclusive interview, "but no one is doing anything about it. In newsrooms, magazine offices and freelancers’ studio apartments, this lack of ‘u’ continues to terrorize us as we type the name of this dreadful organization. Strictly speaking, the transliteration of the Arabic may not require a ‘u’ after ‘q’s, as we do in English. But this deviation is distracting, and trains our eyes to be misled by other words containing ‘q’s without accompanying ‘u’s. And if we start making mistakes in other words, then the terrorists win,” she spoke passionately. “Besides, adding a ‘u’ protects American youth, who are taught that the ‘q’ is followed by a ‘u.’ As far as our language is concerned, this change is a matter of homeland security.”

Answering concerns that the addition of this letter might confuse the military team that is searching for bin Laden and his band of scraggly men, the writer/editor said colorfully, “Look, I know people may think this is a radical move. If the American public objects, I’m willing to consider buying al-Qaeda a ‘k’ to be used in place of their renegade ‘q,’ so they won’t need a ‘u.’ I want the [plural f-bomb expletive deleted] caught. But ‘al-Quaeda’ or ‘al-Kaeda,’ I’m just an editor. My words are my weapons. This is the best I can do.”

1 Comments:

At 1:35 PM, August 03, 2004, Blogger Anna said...

well, i teach in an urban school district and for awhile was disturbed by the lack of "u" after a "q" in children's names like "Shyliq" because how can we teach the absolute rule of "qu" if their names defy that rule? i was frustrated until a fellow teacher pointed out that we'd really have to give up the fight because of celebrities like Shaq.

 

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My Urban Kvetch: JEWISH EDITOR PRESENTS "GIFT" TO TERRORIST GROUP

Monday, August 02, 2004

JEWISH EDITOR PRESENTS "GIFT" TO TERRORIST GROUP

SPECIAL TO MY URBAN KVETCH—New York, August 2, 2004—In what is possibly the first incident of gift-giving by a Jewess to a terrorist group, it was announced today that an anonymous New York area writer/editor has bought al-Qaeda a “u.”

“I know other editors have been troubled by the visual esthetic of the name al-Qaeda,” the wordsmith, who insisted on anonymity for fear of criticism from the Jewish community, said today in an exclusive interview, "but no one is doing anything about it. In newsrooms, magazine offices and freelancers’ studio apartments, this lack of ‘u’ continues to terrorize us as we type the name of this dreadful organization. Strictly speaking, the transliteration of the Arabic may not require a ‘u’ after ‘q’s, as we do in English. But this deviation is distracting, and trains our eyes to be misled by other words containing ‘q’s without accompanying ‘u’s. And if we start making mistakes in other words, then the terrorists win,” she spoke passionately. “Besides, adding a ‘u’ protects American youth, who are taught that the ‘q’ is followed by a ‘u.’ As far as our language is concerned, this change is a matter of homeland security.”

Answering concerns that the addition of this letter might confuse the military team that is searching for bin Laden and his band of scraggly men, the writer/editor said colorfully, “Look, I know people may think this is a radical move. If the American public objects, I’m willing to consider buying al-Qaeda a ‘k’ to be used in place of their renegade ‘q,’ so they won’t need a ‘u.’ I want the [plural f-bomb expletive deleted] caught. But ‘al-Quaeda’ or ‘al-Kaeda,’ I’m just an editor. My words are my weapons. This is the best I can do.”

1 Comments:

At 1:35 PM, August 03, 2004, Blogger Anna said...

well, i teach in an urban school district and for awhile was disturbed by the lack of "u" after a "q" in children's names like "Shyliq" because how can we teach the absolute rule of "qu" if their names defy that rule? i was frustrated until a fellow teacher pointed out that we'd really have to give up the fight because of celebrities like Shaq.

 

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