JEWISH EDITOR PRESENTS "GIFT" TO TERRORIST GROUP

SPECIAL TO MY URBAN KVETCH—New York, August 2, 2004—In what is possibly the first incident of gift-giving by a Jewess to a terrorist group, it was announced today that an anonymous New York area writer/editor has bought al-Qaeda a “u.”

“I know other editors have been troubled by the visual esthetic of the name al-Qaeda,” the wordsmith, who insisted on anonymity for fear of criticism from the Jewish community, said today in an exclusive interview, "but no one is doing anything about it. In newsrooms, magazine offices and freelancers’ studio apartments, this lack of ‘u’ continues to terrorize us as we type the name of this dreadful organization. Strictly speaking, the transliteration of the Arabic may not require a ‘u’ after ‘q’s, as we do in English. But this deviation is distracting, and trains our eyes to be misled by other words containing ‘q’s without accompanying ‘u’s. And if we start making mistakes in other words, then the terrorists win,” she spoke passionately. “Besides, adding a ‘u’ protects American youth, who are taught that the ‘q’ is followed by a ‘u.’ As far as our language is concerned, this change is a matter of homeland security.”

Answering concerns that the addition of this letter might confuse the military team that is searching for bin Laden and his band of scraggly men, the writer/editor said colorfully, “Look, I know people may think this is a radical move. If the American public objects, I’m willing to consider buying al-Qaeda a ‘k’ to be used in place of their renegade ‘q,’ so they won’t need a ‘u.’ I want the [plural f-bomb expletive deleted] caught. But ‘al-Quaeda’ or ‘al-Kaeda,’ I’m just an editor. My words are my weapons. This is the best I can do.”

JEWISH EDITOR PRESENTS "GIFT" TO TERRORIST GROUP

SPECIAL TO MY URBAN KVETCH—New York, August 2, 2004—In what is possibly the first incident of gift-giving by a Jewess to a terrorist group, it was announced today that an anonymous New York area writer/editor has bought al-Qaeda a “u.”

“I know other editors have been troubled by the visual esthetic of the name al-Qaeda,” the wordsmith, who insisted on anonymity for fear of criticism from the Jewish community, said today in an exclusive interview, "but no one is doing anything about it. In newsrooms, magazine offices and freelancers’ studio apartments, this lack of ‘u’ continues to terrorize us as we type the name of this dreadful organization. Strictly speaking, the transliteration of the Arabic may not require a ‘u’ after ‘q’s, as we do in English. But this deviation is distracting, and trains our eyes to be misled by other words containing ‘q’s without accompanying ‘u’s. And if we start making mistakes in other words, then the terrorists win,” she spoke passionately. “Besides, adding a ‘u’ protects American youth, who are taught that the ‘q’ is followed by a ‘u.’ As far as our language is concerned, this change is a matter of homeland security.”

Answering concerns that the addition of this letter might confuse the military team that is searching for bin Laden and his band of scraggly men, the writer/editor said colorfully, “Look, I know people may think this is a radical move. If the American public objects, I’m willing to consider buying al-Qaeda a ‘k’ to be used in place of their renegade ‘q,’ so they won’t need a ‘u.’ I want the [plural f-bomb expletive deleted] caught. But ‘al-Quaeda’ or ‘al-Kaeda,’ I’m just an editor. My words are my weapons. This is the best I can do.”