NEXT TIME, ON "KABBALIEVE IT OR NOT!"

I swear, people just send me this stuff.

Never mind that, to the best of my knowledge, there is no Kabbalah wedding. Veruca Salt, I mean Britney Spears, is having one anyway. ("But I want one, Mummy! And it's going to be the best, most expensive Kabbalah wedding EVER! And I want it NOW!!)

The article reports that the blessed event will be taking place on an "autumn weekend." I'm willing to bet that it's either September 18 (Shabbat Shuva--The Sabbath of Repentance between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), the 19th (The Fast of Gedaliah), or Saturday September 25 (Yom Kippur).

Let's just see how Jewish a "Kabbalah wedding" is going to be.  Will the wedding include all of the traditional Jewish elements, such as:

• Yarmulkes? (Maybe a pink satin yarmulke bra with the name of the couple and the date stamped on the inside?)
• The traditional veiling of the bride (followed by the untraditional striptease of the bride)?
• The smorgasbord, including a sushi buffet?
• Horas galoras? (it's bound to include several media whore-as galoras...)
• An elderly couple in the corner gossiping about the bridesmaids' dresses and complaining about the traffic on the way to the wedding?
• A "first dance" between the newlyweds, with gyrating bridesmaids & groomsmen/backup dancers? (OK, so that's parting with Jewish tradition a little, but worth looking into for my eventual karaoke wedding, time, location and groom TBD)

My brain is spinning at even considering what this wedding is going to be like. I guess I'll have to sit back and wait for my invitation.

NEXT TIME, ON "KABBALIEVE IT OR NOT!"

I swear, people just send me this stuff.

Never mind that, to the best of my knowledge, there is no Kabbalah wedding. Veruca Salt, I mean Britney Spears, is having one anyway. ("But I want one, Mummy! And it's going to be the best, most expensive Kabbalah wedding EVER! And I want it NOW!!)

The article reports that the blessed event will be taking place on an "autumn weekend." I'm willing to bet that it's either September 18 (Shabbat Shuva--The Sabbath of Repentance between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), the 19th (The Fast of Gedaliah), or Saturday September 25 (Yom Kippur).

Let's just see how Jewish a "Kabbalah wedding" is going to be.  Will the wedding include all of the traditional Jewish elements, such as:

• Yarmulkes? (Maybe a pink satin yarmulke bra with the name of the couple and the date stamped on the inside?)
• The traditional veiling of the bride (followed by the untraditional striptease of the bride)?
• The smorgasbord, including a sushi buffet?
• Horas galoras? (it's bound to include several media whore-as galoras...)
• An elderly couple in the corner gossiping about the bridesmaids' dresses and complaining about the traffic on the way to the wedding?
• A "first dance" between the newlyweds, with gyrating bridesmaids & groomsmen/backup dancers? (OK, so that's parting with Jewish tradition a little, but worth looking into for my eventual karaoke wedding, time, location and groom TBD)

My brain is spinning at even considering what this wedding is going to be like. I guess I'll have to sit back and wait for my invitation.