Friday, July 30, 2004

KABBALIEVE IT OR NOT, EPISODE 2

Let's recap:

Madonna loves Kabbalah. So she decides to adopt various customs, some of which are Jewish (not performing concerts on Friday nights) and others of which (Kabbalah candles) are not. She writes children's books on Kabbalah-related themes, wears tefilin and Hebrew letters tattoed on her arm in her videos, and dines out in kosher restaurants.

Britney loves Madonna, Kabbalah and getting married. So she reads Jewish mysticism poolside, dons the trendy red string bracelet and decides to get married in the world's first ever Kabbalah wedding.

Demi loved Bruce. But now she loves Ashton. And Demi and Ashton love Kabbalah, too, so they're going to get married in a Kabbalah ceremony in Israel.

The race to the newly erected Kabbalah altar has begun. Only their wedding planners know which celebrity couple will get there first...

Just a few of the questions that remain:
  • Will the winner be Britney and Kevin, or Demi and Ashton?
  • Will the weddings be kosher, or held on a major Jewish holiday?
  • Does Bruce Willis have a date to Demi's wedding? And does he date only Baywatch babes, or would he consider expanding to include funny Jewish women of non-Baywatch body type who could use her Hebrew skills to help show him around Israel?
 

(Thank you, Bloghead, for the tip on this important and life-altering development.)

4 Comments:

At 9:56 AM, July 30, 2004, Blogger Hilary said...

But the question still remains--Exactly what is a Kabbalah wedding? Because I don't remember learning about that in Hebrew and Sunday school!

 
At 10:46 AM, July 30, 2004, Blogger petitchou said...

Obviously Esther should attend either one or both of these innovative events and report back to us with a detailed debriefing.

Speaking of which, I have to admit that when I saw your post about the red Kaballah string, I assumed it was a reference to a string bikini. Not out of the question for Britney to wear something tasteless on her wrist, is it?

 
At 1:42 PM, July 30, 2004, Blogger H (the underachiever) said...

I'm gonna beat everyone to the punch and elope to Vegas for my very own Kaballah wedding. Granted, I'm neither Jewish or famous but it's so damn cool;)

 
At 3:53 PM, August 01, 2004, Blogger Jen(nifer) said...

Ah, I also read (or heard maybe on Best Week Ever? Scary to admit this!) that Ms. *I don't need no pre-nup, I bought my own ring* Spears is considering one as well...

 

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My Urban Kvetch: KABBALIEVE IT OR NOT, EPISODE 2

Friday, July 30, 2004

KABBALIEVE IT OR NOT, EPISODE 2

Let's recap:

Madonna loves Kabbalah. So she decides to adopt various customs, some of which are Jewish (not performing concerts on Friday nights) and others of which (Kabbalah candles) are not. She writes children's books on Kabbalah-related themes, wears tefilin and Hebrew letters tattoed on her arm in her videos, and dines out in kosher restaurants.

Britney loves Madonna, Kabbalah and getting married. So she reads Jewish mysticism poolside, dons the trendy red string bracelet and decides to get married in the world's first ever Kabbalah wedding.

Demi loved Bruce. But now she loves Ashton. And Demi and Ashton love Kabbalah, too, so they're going to get married in a Kabbalah ceremony in Israel.

The race to the newly erected Kabbalah altar has begun. Only their wedding planners know which celebrity couple will get there first...

Just a few of the questions that remain:
  • Will the winner be Britney and Kevin, or Demi and Ashton?
  • Will the weddings be kosher, or held on a major Jewish holiday?
  • Does Bruce Willis have a date to Demi's wedding? And does he date only Baywatch babes, or would he consider expanding to include funny Jewish women of non-Baywatch body type who could use her Hebrew skills to help show him around Israel?
 

(Thank you, Bloghead, for the tip on this important and life-altering development.)

4 Comments:

At 9:56 AM, July 30, 2004, Blogger Hilary said...

But the question still remains--Exactly what is a Kabbalah wedding? Because I don't remember learning about that in Hebrew and Sunday school!

 
At 10:46 AM, July 30, 2004, Blogger petitchou said...

Obviously Esther should attend either one or both of these innovative events and report back to us with a detailed debriefing.

Speaking of which, I have to admit that when I saw your post about the red Kaballah string, I assumed it was a reference to a string bikini. Not out of the question for Britney to wear something tasteless on her wrist, is it?

 
At 1:42 PM, July 30, 2004, Blogger H (the underachiever) said...

I'm gonna beat everyone to the punch and elope to Vegas for my very own Kaballah wedding. Granted, I'm neither Jewish or famous but it's so damn cool;)

 
At 3:53 PM, August 01, 2004, Blogger Jen(nifer) said...

Ah, I also read (or heard maybe on Best Week Ever? Scary to admit this!) that Ms. *I don't need no pre-nup, I bought my own ring* Spears is considering one as well...

 

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