Wednesday, October 06, 2004

POLITICS, JUST THIS ONCE

You know I don't do politics here. But, when it's for my own nefarious purposes...

Thought I'd do a web recap of how some of my favorites think last night's debate went.

My passionate friend Karol, who liveblogged her reactions as they happened, calls it for Cheney, and then gives you a roundup of what some other people think.

I would like to provide Dawn Summers' counterpoint to Karol's point just to fuel the fire between these two (follow their blogs for a while and you'll see what I mean), but she hasn't posted her reactions yet. In the interim, here's her pre-assessment of the debate:
"I have no idea what to expect from tonight's debate, but Edwards is Hottie Mc Awesome Smile and he should work his mojo so that Gwen asks him what all of us really want to know. Namely, favorite color, favorite food, favorite song, how serious is this thing with Elizabeth, where he'll be everyday until election day and of course, the age-old boxers or briefs."

Jessica's vineyard has a new vintage of her own: being in love with Dick Cheney. A quote: "I seriously heart Cheney. Even more than I heart Halliburton."

At The View From Here, the question on the agenda was: "Anyone else finding it strange that Cheney is barely mentioning Bush's name? "

Slate seems to have Cheney as the winner, but with a backhanded compliment: "Vice President Dick Cheney made a lot of false and misleading statements about his foreign and defense policies—but Sen. John Edwards did a less than stellar job at countering them." (So who won? my inner child whined...)

Most poignant by far is the lovely Bex:
"Damn, Edwards is f-i-i-n-e in a goyish way, and Cheney looks like a gynecologist who dips his hands in ice-water before probing one's nether regions. Putting the moderator in the power position at a small table with two guys makes her look a lot like a Dungeon Master."

One anecdote from my youth. When I was about four years old and in school, there was some publication (Highlights? Probably something else I can't remember...) with the new Presidential candidates on the cover: Gerald Ford vs. Jimmy Carter. My verdict? Ford. Why? Because he looked more like a President, whereas JC was smiling all the time. I didn't really know what a President was, but I knew he should be serious.

Personally, the more I see Cheney on TV, the more I begin to not be able to tell the difference between him and Darrell Hammond. (Props to DH's madd talents, yo.) And I do agree that Edwards is sometimes "too good-looking," and that his smile is incredibly distracting to this single girl. But I'm not saying that I'm voting for either side based on appearance. This isn't high school student council president: I don't vote based on looks. I'll save looks-based voting for when the US of A elects our National Prom Queen.

In the interim, I don't see either as the clear winner. Is it too late to vote for Candidate Zero?

3 Comments:

At 9:07 PM, October 06, 2004, Blogger Madonna said...

I say we should vote for Ken Jennings. He could have Alex Trebek as his running mate...

Speaking of Darrell Hammond, we do need one last celebrity Jeopardy!.. Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek, Hammond as Sean Connery, Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds, and Ken Jennings as, well.. Ken Jennings.

Poor Trebek has a heart attack after Jennings answers every question right, including Final Jeopardy!, and finishes with over $500,000 - Reynolds acts like a goofball all episode long, and Connery finishes with -$1,000,000 as he buzzes in and responds incorrectly to every question 2-3 times.

After all, after years of not having a single celebrity answer a question correctly, I don't think Trebek could handle Jennings. Too much for his poor heart, weakened by years of stress from dealing with Connery and drinking to cope with Connery.

 
At 12:17 PM, October 07, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

Someone I work with Tivo'd the debates and says that at the end of the debates, when all were milling around, Cheney quickly checked out Edward's daugher's backside.

 
At 8:51 AM, October 08, 2004, Blogger Katie said...

which kind of begs the question - would Darrel Hammond as Dick Cheney also check out John Edwards' daughter's backside?

 

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My Urban Kvetch: POLITICS, JUST THIS ONCE

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

POLITICS, JUST THIS ONCE

You know I don't do politics here. But, when it's for my own nefarious purposes...

Thought I'd do a web recap of how some of my favorites think last night's debate went.

My passionate friend Karol, who liveblogged her reactions as they happened, calls it for Cheney, and then gives you a roundup of what some other people think.

I would like to provide Dawn Summers' counterpoint to Karol's point just to fuel the fire between these two (follow their blogs for a while and you'll see what I mean), but she hasn't posted her reactions yet. In the interim, here's her pre-assessment of the debate:
"I have no idea what to expect from tonight's debate, but Edwards is Hottie Mc Awesome Smile and he should work his mojo so that Gwen asks him what all of us really want to know. Namely, favorite color, favorite food, favorite song, how serious is this thing with Elizabeth, where he'll be everyday until election day and of course, the age-old boxers or briefs."

Jessica's vineyard has a new vintage of her own: being in love with Dick Cheney. A quote: "I seriously heart Cheney. Even more than I heart Halliburton."

At The View From Here, the question on the agenda was: "Anyone else finding it strange that Cheney is barely mentioning Bush's name? "

Slate seems to have Cheney as the winner, but with a backhanded compliment: "Vice President Dick Cheney made a lot of false and misleading statements about his foreign and defense policies—but Sen. John Edwards did a less than stellar job at countering them." (So who won? my inner child whined...)

Most poignant by far is the lovely Bex:
"Damn, Edwards is f-i-i-n-e in a goyish way, and Cheney looks like a gynecologist who dips his hands in ice-water before probing one's nether regions. Putting the moderator in the power position at a small table with two guys makes her look a lot like a Dungeon Master."

One anecdote from my youth. When I was about four years old and in school, there was some publication (Highlights? Probably something else I can't remember...) with the new Presidential candidates on the cover: Gerald Ford vs. Jimmy Carter. My verdict? Ford. Why? Because he looked more like a President, whereas JC was smiling all the time. I didn't really know what a President was, but I knew he should be serious.

Personally, the more I see Cheney on TV, the more I begin to not be able to tell the difference between him and Darrell Hammond. (Props to DH's madd talents, yo.) And I do agree that Edwards is sometimes "too good-looking," and that his smile is incredibly distracting to this single girl. But I'm not saying that I'm voting for either side based on appearance. This isn't high school student council president: I don't vote based on looks. I'll save looks-based voting for when the US of A elects our National Prom Queen.

In the interim, I don't see either as the clear winner. Is it too late to vote for Candidate Zero?

3 Comments:

At 9:07 PM, October 06, 2004, Blogger Madonna said...

I say we should vote for Ken Jennings. He could have Alex Trebek as his running mate...

Speaking of Darrell Hammond, we do need one last celebrity Jeopardy!.. Will Ferrell as Alex Trebek, Hammond as Sean Connery, Norm MacDonald as Burt Reynolds, and Ken Jennings as, well.. Ken Jennings.

Poor Trebek has a heart attack after Jennings answers every question right, including Final Jeopardy!, and finishes with over $500,000 - Reynolds acts like a goofball all episode long, and Connery finishes with -$1,000,000 as he buzzes in and responds incorrectly to every question 2-3 times.

After all, after years of not having a single celebrity answer a question correctly, I don't think Trebek could handle Jennings. Too much for his poor heart, weakened by years of stress from dealing with Connery and drinking to cope with Connery.

 
At 12:17 PM, October 07, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

Someone I work with Tivo'd the debates and says that at the end of the debates, when all were milling around, Cheney quickly checked out Edward's daugher's backside.

 
At 8:51 AM, October 08, 2004, Blogger Katie said...

which kind of begs the question - would Darrel Hammond as Dick Cheney also check out John Edwards' daughter's backside?

 

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