PLAY MISTY FOR ME
Giving AWOL a new definition, the Alcohol Without Liquid* machine converts your favorite alcoholic libation into a breathable mist. Pour a shot into the diffuser capsule, which connects to a pipe. Oxygen is pumped through it, absorbing the alchohol and creating a vapor, which you suck through a tube and inhale. It's apparently huge with British clubgoers, but it sounds like an import of the bong lifestyle into mainstream watering holes. (This story via The Morning News.)
This machine is debuting tonight at the Trust Lounge in the meatpacking district, but may actually be illegal. NY authorities are investigating this and are concerned that it may make getting drunk look even cooler.
Why I'm sticking with liquid alcohol
- Dehydration fears mandate the ingestion of liquids
- Sticky summer nights still require the mitzvah of frozen margaritas
- AWOL machine further enables the metaphor of alcoholics saying, "I need it...it's like the air that I breathe..."
- In New York bar scene, it is more socially acceptable to wield a martini glass than an oxygenating machine
- Sipping a drink is sexier than gasping at the contents of a tube (although I'm sure some will disagree with me on this one...)
- AWOL machine not yet available as beamable program/attachment for my Palm
- AWOL machine does not fit in hip new Ferragamo** clutch
- Friday night dinners will not be the same without Rashi's Moscato D'Asti for kiddush
- POINTS value of alcohol mist is yet to be determined
*Semantics--I would argue that the proper acronym for Alcohol without Liquid is A.W.L. Invocation of the previous definition of AWOL lends the new product an aura of desertion and rebellion, which is maybe what was intended...
**Who'm I kidding? As if I own a Ferragamo clutch...