Friday, August 20, 2004

PLAY MISTY FOR ME

Giving AWOL a new definition, the Alcohol Without Liquid* machine converts your favorite alcoholic libation into a breathable mist. Pour a shot into the diffuser capsule, which connects to a pipe. Oxygen is pumped through it, absorbing the alchohol and creating a vapor, which you suck through a tube and inhale. It's apparently huge with British clubgoers, but it sounds like an import of the bong lifestyle into mainstream watering holes. (This story via The Morning News.)

This machine is debuting tonight at the Trust Lounge in the meatpacking district, but may actually be illegal. NY authorities are investigating this and are concerned that it may make getting drunk look even cooler.

Why I'm sticking with liquid alcohol
  • Dehydration fears mandate the ingestion of liquids
  • Sticky summer nights still require the mitzvah of frozen margaritas
  • AWOL machine further enables the metaphor of alcoholics saying, "I need it...it's like the air that I breathe..."
  • In New York bar scene, it is more socially acceptable to wield a martini glass than an oxygenating machine
  • Sipping a drink is sexier than gasping at the contents of a tube (although I'm sure some will disagree with me on this one...)
  • AWOL machine not yet available as beamable program/attachment for my Palm
  • AWOL machine does not fit in hip new Ferragamo** clutch
  • Friday night dinners will not be the same without Rashi's Moscato D'Asti for kiddush
  • POINTS value of alcohol mist is yet to be determined


*Semantics--I would argue that the proper acronym for Alcohol without Liquid is A.W.L. Invocation of the previous definition of AWOL lends the new product an aura of desertion and rebellion, which is maybe what was intended...

**Who'm I kidding? As if I own a Ferragamo clutch...

8 Comments:

At 12:27 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Darling, I'm not quite sure that a frozen margarita rises to the level of a religious obligation. It may be a necessity of life second only to ice cream, garlic, espresso, and chocolate, but I fear the rabbis will have your hide for this one. :>)

 
At 4:23 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger annabel lee said...

NYC uses Rashi's Moscato D'Asti? Out west, all my friends swear by the Bartenura version. I personally can't drink it with dinner - way too sweet. It's a dessert wine. But my friends out here are total lightweights as far as alcohol is concerned, and it's the only thing most of them drink.

Would breathing in alcohol translate to a higher or lower blood-alcohol-content on a breathalyzer test?

 
At 4:38 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger Bruce Hall said...

What's a Kvetch please?

 
At 9:45 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger Tamara said...

Hi Esther, you sent me a comment on my blog. I found yours via someone in the actual jdate chatroom...go figure :) Now, how did you know I linked to you? what service?

 
At 2:01 PM, August 21, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Bruce, "kvetch" is a Yiddish word for "complaint," usually -- but not always -- of the whiny variety.

 
At 9:39 PM, August 21, 2004, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Michael's right on the definition, but I tend to be less whiny, and more witty. At least that's the goal.

 
At 7:19 AM, August 23, 2004, Blogger DeborahLondon said...

"It's apparently huge with British clubgoers"

I go our clubbing every week in London and have never heard of this....as far as I've noticed its still liquid alcohol or solid drugs all the way.....

 
At 9:23 AM, August 23, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Oh, Esther, you're never whiny! You're quite witty, and you have great topics.

Incidentally, you ought to talk to Deb (Smitten) about the writing life. I think she's a frustrated columnist. No competition to you, of course. :)

 

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My Urban Kvetch: PLAY MISTY FOR ME

Friday, August 20, 2004

PLAY MISTY FOR ME

Giving AWOL a new definition, the Alcohol Without Liquid* machine converts your favorite alcoholic libation into a breathable mist. Pour a shot into the diffuser capsule, which connects to a pipe. Oxygen is pumped through it, absorbing the alchohol and creating a vapor, which you suck through a tube and inhale. It's apparently huge with British clubgoers, but it sounds like an import of the bong lifestyle into mainstream watering holes. (This story via The Morning News.)

This machine is debuting tonight at the Trust Lounge in the meatpacking district, but may actually be illegal. NY authorities are investigating this and are concerned that it may make getting drunk look even cooler.

Why I'm sticking with liquid alcohol
  • Dehydration fears mandate the ingestion of liquids
  • Sticky summer nights still require the mitzvah of frozen margaritas
  • AWOL machine further enables the metaphor of alcoholics saying, "I need it...it's like the air that I breathe..."
  • In New York bar scene, it is more socially acceptable to wield a martini glass than an oxygenating machine
  • Sipping a drink is sexier than gasping at the contents of a tube (although I'm sure some will disagree with me on this one...)
  • AWOL machine not yet available as beamable program/attachment for my Palm
  • AWOL machine does not fit in hip new Ferragamo** clutch
  • Friday night dinners will not be the same without Rashi's Moscato D'Asti for kiddush
  • POINTS value of alcohol mist is yet to be determined


*Semantics--I would argue that the proper acronym for Alcohol without Liquid is A.W.L. Invocation of the previous definition of AWOL lends the new product an aura of desertion and rebellion, which is maybe what was intended...

**Who'm I kidding? As if I own a Ferragamo clutch...

8 Comments:

At 12:27 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Darling, I'm not quite sure that a frozen margarita rises to the level of a religious obligation. It may be a necessity of life second only to ice cream, garlic, espresso, and chocolate, but I fear the rabbis will have your hide for this one. :>)

 
At 4:23 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger annabel lee said...

NYC uses Rashi's Moscato D'Asti? Out west, all my friends swear by the Bartenura version. I personally can't drink it with dinner - way too sweet. It's a dessert wine. But my friends out here are total lightweights as far as alcohol is concerned, and it's the only thing most of them drink.

Would breathing in alcohol translate to a higher or lower blood-alcohol-content on a breathalyzer test?

 
At 4:38 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger Bruce Hall said...

What's a Kvetch please?

 
At 9:45 PM, August 20, 2004, Blogger Tamara said...

Hi Esther, you sent me a comment on my blog. I found yours via someone in the actual jdate chatroom...go figure :) Now, how did you know I linked to you? what service?

 
At 2:01 PM, August 21, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Bruce, "kvetch" is a Yiddish word for "complaint," usually -- but not always -- of the whiny variety.

 
At 9:39 PM, August 21, 2004, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Michael's right on the definition, but I tend to be less whiny, and more witty. At least that's the goal.

 
At 7:19 AM, August 23, 2004, Blogger DeborahLondon said...

"It's apparently huge with British clubgoers"

I go our clubbing every week in London and have never heard of this....as far as I've noticed its still liquid alcohol or solid drugs all the way.....

 
At 9:23 AM, August 23, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Oh, Esther, you're never whiny! You're quite witty, and you have great topics.

Incidentally, you ought to talk to Deb (Smitten) about the writing life. I think she's a frustrated columnist. No competition to you, of course. :)

 

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