ON HUMAN BILLBOARDS AND DANGEROUS TUTUS
Remember that shirtless guy who ran across the stage at the 1998 Grammys--upstaging the dour-but-talented Artist formerly known as Robert Zimmerman*--and on his chest was written "Soy Bomb"?
That guy, and the Soy Bomb mission**, was weird enough. But here's a story from one of my daily e-subscriptions, Cynopsis.com:
Perhaps you were watching the synchronized diving event the other evening on television, and heard the commentators talking about a spectator jumping up on the platform and diving into the pool while wearing a tutu. Seems this spectator was Canada's own 'human billboard' - that is a guy who shows up places, strips down to reveal the name of a casino website address painted on his chest. For this particular event, the man, Ron Bensimhon, 31, of Montreal, was wearing a blue knee length tutu, polka dot leggings, oversized clown shoes and a url address as he dove off the board and into the pool. He was promptly arrested and charged with the Greek crime of interrupting a sporting event in progress. Meanwhile, Olympic security has been pumped up to avoid such distractions, including deploying an arsenal of undercover security people at all the venues. And in any case, as pointed out by the Athens security liaison, 'there is no security device in the world that will detect a tutu.'
Oh, but what if there were? What a glorious world that would be. Tutu detection is an issue that the social indignant within us all should embrace. I mean, if we allow tutus to roam free in this world, what will be our fate? Will we all be forced to develop the necessary dancers' calves and quads? Will we pirouette to work, accompanied by classical music? Remember, if we don't develop the technology to guard our society against tutus, the terrorists win.
*That's Bob Dylan, kids.
**The Soy Bomb mission calls for the eradication of cheese. Not, as Monty Python would have said, "makers of all dairy products," but solely cheese. For more of this insanity, check their website.