TERRORIST MOOSE ATTACK PARADE

In what could be the first attack by a new al-Qaeda sleeper cell, two potentially killer moose invaded Brighton, Utah during the town's annual July 4 parade:

"They stopped the parade and everybody just sat and watched," said Amber Bailey, a volunteer cleaning up after breakfast. "They could kill somebody. It was amazing that they would have the guts to walk out in front of everybody."

The malfunctioning moose did not accomplish its objective, which some speculate was to take out the Mormons, but it did instead manage to terrify a few morons, who scampered away during the animal invasion.

The senior of the two moose, who answered to the name "Marty," denied that the attack was revenge for the demise of the National Lampoon's Vacation movie franchise after the first set of Clark and Ellen Griswold's kids were replaced for the sequels. He also would neither confirm nor deny that he and his compatriot were sent by al-Qaeda's Behemoth Animal Division to "strike at the heart of what America holds dear, polygamy."

President George Bush could not be reached for comment, as he was in high-level meetings with the U.S. Minister of Difficult Vocabulary, trying to understand how the word moose could be both singular and plural.

TERRORIST MOOSE ATTACK PARADE

In what could be the first attack by a new al-Qaeda sleeper cell, two potentially killer moose invaded Brighton, Utah during the town's annual July 4 parade:

"They stopped the parade and everybody just sat and watched," said Amber Bailey, a volunteer cleaning up after breakfast. "They could kill somebody. It was amazing that they would have the guts to walk out in front of everybody."

The malfunctioning moose did not accomplish its objective, which some speculate was to take out the Mormons, but it did instead manage to terrify a few morons, who scampered away during the animal invasion.

The senior of the two moose, who answered to the name "Marty," denied that the attack was revenge for the demise of the National Lampoon's Vacation movie franchise after the first set of Clark and Ellen Griswold's kids were replaced for the sequels. He also would neither confirm nor deny that he and his compatriot were sent by al-Qaeda's Behemoth Animal Division to "strike at the heart of what America holds dear, polygamy."

President George Bush could not be reached for comment, as he was in high-level meetings with the U.S. Minister of Difficult Vocabulary, trying to understand how the word moose could be both singular and plural.