WELCOME TO PLANET GIRTH

Oh boy. Slate published a review of the new commercial for hot dogs. You've seen it, where that guy is roasting his wieners on a grill, and talks about girth for what seems like an hour; he calls his franks "girthy," and that he loves the way that sounds.

Let's be "frank." It does sound funny. But it also sounds sexual. Slate's Seth Stevenson did a Lexis-Nexis search for the word "girth":

A quick Nexis search shows that "girthy" made it into print only 23 times in the past year. Three times it refers to ears of corn (it appears to be commercial farming jargon). The New York Times employs it to describe an opera singer (of course they do). And oddly, it appears in four separate stories in Guitar Player magazine (each time, the word refers either to guitar necks or guitar sounds; all four stories are by a writer named Art Thompson—who either had an ongoing bet with friends, or was in a real bad adjective rut).

But in modern usage, girth is used almost exclusively to describe one thing. If you're curious, Seth Stevenson recommends that you do NOT do a web seach for the word. Believe me, you'll find that the usage is almost always penile.

Hot dogs. A.K.A. wieners. That plump when you cook 'em. (Don't we all.) And in addition to their phallic shape and their tendency to grow when you get them hot, now they're girthy. I know the advertising mantra of "sex sells," but does it always have to?

Enjoy your Fourth of July barbecues, everyone!

WELCOME TO PLANET GIRTH

Oh boy. Slate published a review of the new commercial for hot dogs. You've seen it, where that guy is roasting his wieners on a grill, and talks about girth for what seems like an hour; he calls his franks "girthy," and that he loves the way that sounds.

Let's be "frank." It does sound funny. But it also sounds sexual. Slate's Seth Stevenson did a Lexis-Nexis search for the word "girth":

A quick Nexis search shows that "girthy" made it into print only 23 times in the past year. Three times it refers to ears of corn (it appears to be commercial farming jargon). The New York Times employs it to describe an opera singer (of course they do). And oddly, it appears in four separate stories in Guitar Player magazine (each time, the word refers either to guitar necks or guitar sounds; all four stories are by a writer named Art Thompson—who either had an ongoing bet with friends, or was in a real bad adjective rut).

But in modern usage, girth is used almost exclusively to describe one thing. If you're curious, Seth Stevenson recommends that you do NOT do a web seach for the word. Believe me, you'll find that the usage is almost always penile.

Hot dogs. A.K.A. wieners. That plump when you cook 'em. (Don't we all.) And in addition to their phallic shape and their tendency to grow when you get them hot, now they're girthy. I know the advertising mantra of "sex sells," but does it always have to?

Enjoy your Fourth of July barbecues, everyone!