Friday, June 25, 2004

MADONNA, ROSH HASHANAH; ROSH HASHANAH, MADONNA

Do you believe this? Madonna and Jewish-related subjects: This is like a runaway train. This Rosh Hashanah, Madonna's going to Israel with a group of 100 kabbalah students.

Given, I have several comments.

Firstly, who are the other 99 students who are in a Kabbalah class with Madonna? Can you imagine being on the bus with her as the group travels around the country? She'd be talking with her newish-Jewish accent inflected by Michigan via London, and flaunting her Jean-Paul Gauthier wardrobe, insisting that people call her Esther (my name, need I remind you) and practicing the guttural "khaf" sound and trilling her "resh"es.

My other comment pertains to M's accommodations while she visits the Holy Land. According to the article above, "Madonna will stay in an out-of-the-way guesthouse and avoid fans and TV cameras so that she'll be able to focus on her cabala studies." Let me state for the record, unequivocally, that this will never happen. How out-of-the-way could any guesthouse be in a state the size of New Jersey? And as far as privacy's concerned, unless the guesthouse is a Mossad safe house, there's no way her location's going to remain a secret. In fact, I have so many relatives in Israel that I bet that by September, I'll know where she's staying.

Stay tuned in the weeks ahead, as Madonna continues to raid the beachhead of Judaism and pillages selected customs and beliefs for adoption.

10 Comments:

At 2:05 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger annabel lee said...

So it's like USY Pilgrimage...with Madonna. Wow. I kind of would love to be a fly on the wall -- but then again, no. I just hope they get a typical Israeli tour guide, one who won't take any of her JudaismLite. But do you know what would rock? Madonna, living (and more importantly, working) on kibbutz.

 
At 2:27 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Yes, just like USY. But with more bodyguards. And better fashion.

In other news, I feel like I can't go to sleep or I'll miss the next piece of Madonnews.

 
At 8:42 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Esther, be calm. You are obsessing a bit over this Madonna business. Fall in love, fly to Provence, and make wild, crazy love for days on end. All other issues will fade, I assure you. :>)

 
At 10:04 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

I had a friend like Madonna (regarding religion, not clothing) when I was in school. She wasn't Jewish, but she would take any Jewish custom she liked and would 'adopt' it. One year she decided to fast on Yom Kippor. She didn't go to services and she didn't study, I don't think, just fasted. Recently, she told me that she feels that it is fine if she wants to go to a seder because, after all, Jesus was Jewish so it is kind of like her background, too. I don't say anything because after all, it could lead to Judaism (and in Madonna's case, actual Judaism) in the end. And my rabbi said that doing good is more important that why you are doing good. Still, I feel like there is something being stolen from me. Part of it is - why do you get to take the good stuff when you don't have to take the aggravation (I am assuming that I can't use fecal language here) that goes along with it? Yeah, you can change your name as much as you want, but are you ever going to really feel that there are a lot of people who are genuinely out to get you. The good parts of Judaism - that is my solace for the hard work of Judaism, my reward. They are getting something for nothing.

 
At 10:04 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:06 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:13 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PN said...

I personally can't get enough of this Madonna/Jewish thing. I wonder if she likes falafel.

 
At 1:16 PM, June 25, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think that she'll fool around on the bus?
Judy

 
At 11:02 AM, June 26, 2004, Blogger the fbg said...

Michael,

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it, and who better than Madonna's namesake? Huh?

 
At 4:14 PM, June 28, 2004, Blogger Robin said...

I found your blog through your comment on Chez Miscarriage. The Esther/Madonna signature made me laugh so here I am!
I figure maybe Madonna will be staying on a Kibbutz while she is in Israel. Hey, you never know! She might like that lifestyle.
You know no one is ever gonna call Madonna, ESTHER! No one called Prince his symbol and then he went back to being Prince, didn't he?
Ya gotta love people. I am sure you are insulted that she has taken your good name. I know I would be. Why couldn't she have taken the name Vashti?

 

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My Urban Kvetch: MADONNA, ROSH HASHANAH; ROSH HASHANAH, MADONNA

Friday, June 25, 2004

MADONNA, ROSH HASHANAH; ROSH HASHANAH, MADONNA

Do you believe this? Madonna and Jewish-related subjects: This is like a runaway train. This Rosh Hashanah, Madonna's going to Israel with a group of 100 kabbalah students.

Given, I have several comments.

Firstly, who are the other 99 students who are in a Kabbalah class with Madonna? Can you imagine being on the bus with her as the group travels around the country? She'd be talking with her newish-Jewish accent inflected by Michigan via London, and flaunting her Jean-Paul Gauthier wardrobe, insisting that people call her Esther (my name, need I remind you) and practicing the guttural "khaf" sound and trilling her "resh"es.

My other comment pertains to M's accommodations while she visits the Holy Land. According to the article above, "Madonna will stay in an out-of-the-way guesthouse and avoid fans and TV cameras so that she'll be able to focus on her cabala studies." Let me state for the record, unequivocally, that this will never happen. How out-of-the-way could any guesthouse be in a state the size of New Jersey? And as far as privacy's concerned, unless the guesthouse is a Mossad safe house, there's no way her location's going to remain a secret. In fact, I have so many relatives in Israel that I bet that by September, I'll know where she's staying.

Stay tuned in the weeks ahead, as Madonna continues to raid the beachhead of Judaism and pillages selected customs and beliefs for adoption.

10 Comments:

At 2:05 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger annabel lee said...

So it's like USY Pilgrimage...with Madonna. Wow. I kind of would love to be a fly on the wall -- but then again, no. I just hope they get a typical Israeli tour guide, one who won't take any of her JudaismLite. But do you know what would rock? Madonna, living (and more importantly, working) on kibbutz.

 
At 2:27 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Yes, just like USY. But with more bodyguards. And better fashion.

In other news, I feel like I can't go to sleep or I'll miss the next piece of Madonnews.

 
At 8:42 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Esther, be calm. You are obsessing a bit over this Madonna business. Fall in love, fly to Provence, and make wild, crazy love for days on end. All other issues will fade, I assure you. :>)

 
At 10:04 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

I had a friend like Madonna (regarding religion, not clothing) when I was in school. She wasn't Jewish, but she would take any Jewish custom she liked and would 'adopt' it. One year she decided to fast on Yom Kippor. She didn't go to services and she didn't study, I don't think, just fasted. Recently, she told me that she feels that it is fine if she wants to go to a seder because, after all, Jesus was Jewish so it is kind of like her background, too. I don't say anything because after all, it could lead to Judaism (and in Madonna's case, actual Judaism) in the end. And my rabbi said that doing good is more important that why you are doing good. Still, I feel like there is something being stolen from me. Part of it is - why do you get to take the good stuff when you don't have to take the aggravation (I am assuming that I can't use fecal language here) that goes along with it? Yeah, you can change your name as much as you want, but are you ever going to really feel that there are a lot of people who are genuinely out to get you. The good parts of Judaism - that is my solace for the hard work of Judaism, my reward. They are getting something for nothing.

 
At 10:04 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:06 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PepGiraffe said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 11:13 AM, June 25, 2004, Blogger PN said...

I personally can't get enough of this Madonna/Jewish thing. I wonder if she likes falafel.

 
At 1:16 PM, June 25, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do you think that she'll fool around on the bus?
Judy

 
At 11:02 AM, June 26, 2004, Blogger the fbg said...

Michael,

It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it, and who better than Madonna's namesake? Huh?

 
At 4:14 PM, June 28, 2004, Blogger Robin said...

I found your blog through your comment on Chez Miscarriage. The Esther/Madonna signature made me laugh so here I am!
I figure maybe Madonna will be staying on a Kibbutz while she is in Israel. Hey, you never know! She might like that lifestyle.
You know no one is ever gonna call Madonna, ESTHER! No one called Prince his symbol and then he went back to being Prince, didn't he?
Ya gotta love people. I am sure you are insulted that she has taken your good name. I know I would be. Why couldn't she have taken the name Vashti?

 

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