Sunday, February 06, 2005

RED (string) BULL, or DRINK'D

Ashton Kutcher in talks to hawk Kabbalah energy drink?

“We’re going after the Red Bull market,” spokesman Darin Ezra told The Scoop. “But Kabbalah Energy Drink tastes better. And it’s infused with Kabbalah water, which is holy water.” So does it have mystical healing powers, like Kabbalah water is supposed to? “I’m not going to comment on that,” said Ezra.

He says that Kutcher, Madonna, and Demi Moore are currently trying out the Kabbalah energy drink, and may agree to be its spokesman. The product has been launched in a very limited market in Southern California, and will go wider shortly, with a major media campaign of radio, print and television and the tag line: “Source of Power.” Does this foreshadow a whole line of Kabbalah products? Say Kabbalah breakfast cereal and breath mints? “If it’s successful,” the spokesman says, “There will be more Kabbalah products.”

Personally, I'm waiting for the Diet version...

If Kabbalah water is holy water, does it also kill vampires?

But this got me thinking...what would be the weirdest Kabbalah product? You could pair the word Kabbalah with almost any product and charge double. But the idea is to come up with the most bizarre item.

Anyone?

I'm going to go with these hot merchandising ideas:

1) Kabbalah Tofurkey
2) Kabbalah Disposable "Soul" Inserts (for shoes)
3) Kabbalah Contact Lens "Soul-ution" (made with Kabbalah water, of course)
4) The Kabbalah Superbowl Halftime Show

1 Comments:

At 10:51 AM, February 07, 2005, Blogger Jason H. Elbaum said...

It's taking over here too. Walk into any Israeli hotel and you'll be confronted, first thing, with a large desk prominently labelled "Kabbalah"!

(Note to the Hebrew-impaired: This is a joke.)

 

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My Urban Kvetch: RED (string) BULL, or DRINK'D

Sunday, February 06, 2005

RED (string) BULL, or DRINK'D

Ashton Kutcher in talks to hawk Kabbalah energy drink?

“We’re going after the Red Bull market,” spokesman Darin Ezra told The Scoop. “But Kabbalah Energy Drink tastes better. And it’s infused with Kabbalah water, which is holy water.” So does it have mystical healing powers, like Kabbalah water is supposed to? “I’m not going to comment on that,” said Ezra.

He says that Kutcher, Madonna, and Demi Moore are currently trying out the Kabbalah energy drink, and may agree to be its spokesman. The product has been launched in a very limited market in Southern California, and will go wider shortly, with a major media campaign of radio, print and television and the tag line: “Source of Power.” Does this foreshadow a whole line of Kabbalah products? Say Kabbalah breakfast cereal and breath mints? “If it’s successful,” the spokesman says, “There will be more Kabbalah products.”

Personally, I'm waiting for the Diet version...

If Kabbalah water is holy water, does it also kill vampires?

But this got me thinking...what would be the weirdest Kabbalah product? You could pair the word Kabbalah with almost any product and charge double. But the idea is to come up with the most bizarre item.

Anyone?

I'm going to go with these hot merchandising ideas:

1) Kabbalah Tofurkey
2) Kabbalah Disposable "Soul" Inserts (for shoes)
3) Kabbalah Contact Lens "Soul-ution" (made with Kabbalah water, of course)
4) The Kabbalah Superbowl Halftime Show

1 Comments:

At 10:51 AM, February 07, 2005, Blogger Jason H. Elbaum said...

It's taking over here too. Walk into any Israeli hotel and you'll be confronted, first thing, with a large desk prominently labelled "Kabbalah"!

(Note to the Hebrew-impaired: This is a joke.)

 

Post a Comment

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