COMEDY DOMINATION: THE NEW PLAN
Since the Daily Show does NOT seem about to hire me as an entertainment consultant (I guess there's no comeback in the cards for "We Heart Showbiz") and since I am therefore NOT poised for discovery by Comedy Central (my favorite network since 1993), I've had to do some contingency planning.
Comedy Central reached a deal to finance Jon Stewart’s production company, Busboy Productions, that guarantees the network a first-look at all television projects that are developed by the shop.
So, here's the new plan:
1) Create television project.
2) Find corporate offices of Busboy Productions.
3) Camp out there until the next Star Wars movie opens.
4) Go back and revise step 3.
5) Skip steps 4 and 5 entirely and proceed directly to step 6.
6) Procure appointment with Busboy development executive.
7) Wow him with original concepts, DVD of my Rosh Hashanah appearance on Good Day NY, and old grainy videotape of an improv show I did four years ago.
8) Fall in love with development executive (did I mention he's single and Jewish?)
9) Announce engagement the same day that development deal is made public, and field deals for a reality show following two comedy professionals from engagement to chuppah.
10) Co-executive produce show with brother Simmy and with Stewart, who is so impressed with my perspective and ability to break kosher Triaminic-related stories more than two weeks before Stephen Colbert that he drafts me for occasional segments on Jews in Hollywood.
And end scene.