So, I just saw Osama Bin Laden on the street. He was wearing a snow parka with the hood up, but I could still see his beard.
It was him, I tell you. At the corner of 86th and West End Avenue. For sure, it was him. Either him, or my high school principal.
I suppose there's a slight chance that it could have just been one of the bearded Jews of the Upper West Side.
But just remember: just because you're paranoid doesn't mean someone's not out to get you.