EXFOLIATION FOLLIES

Yesterday was unusual. I decided to go to a body sculpting class in the middle of the day. And that decision set into motion a chain of events that had very negative epidermal reprecussions.

When I came back, I Sea Breezed my face. In this weather, it really helps to cool things off, and doesn't cost me anything on my Con Ed bill. It felt cool, invigorating and refreshing. Then I showered, using a mild exfoliant on my face. When I came out of the shower, my skin was pink, smooth and gleaming. Perfect. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon in my apartment, doing work, and occasionally, Sea Breezing my face.

Then, for a change of scenery, I headed over to Barnes & Noble to buy my book club book, Brick Lane, and pick up the Best New American Short Story anthology, which contains a story by a good friend of mine. I sat in the cafe with an iced decaf Americano and edited a story I'd written. I was feeling good; in the groove of being a writer in New York.

I came home, and as I was a little perspirationy, I Sea Breezed. Then I spent several hours on another article, posted to my blog, and started my preparations for bed, including washing my face. Forgetting that I had already exfoliated in the shower, I used another face product that had apricot, almond and other abrasive ingredients. As soon as I was done, my face started to burn. As I watched it in the mirror, my face started to swell and its color deepened to a bright purple. I felt like I had spent three hours in the sun with baby oil on my face. Thinking it was an allergic reaction (although I'd been using the product for months now with no ill effects), I grabbed my Dove soap to scrub the offensive residue from my sensitive cheeks...forgetting that I had bought the exfoliating Dove instead of the regular.

Now my face was really mad. What could I do to appease it, to mitigate the burning sensations? What if I was having a severe anaphylactic shock-type of reaction to the exfoliant? Should I go to the emergency room even though I don't have health insurance? Or should I go to sleep, and hope for the best in the morning?

A quick survey of my apartment yielded an answer: the AHAVA advance moisturizer I had bought last time I was in Israel. I slathered it on, and my skin gulped it up like I had never fed it moisturizer before. Again, I slathered. And lay down to sleep, hoping for the best. I was plagued by dreams of living with a face forever marked by my exfoliation folly.

This morning, I rushed to the mirror, expecting to behold a grotesque and phantom-of-the-opera type disfigurement that would require my immediate hermitdom. But it was like it never happened. My face was back to normal. I wondered if I had dreamed the whole thing. Maybe it had been a hallucination, magically conjured by my mother and injected into my dream state to get me on the ball in terms of getting health insurance. Or maybe it was a sign of stress, externally manifesting the inner panic that happens when I write out my monthly rent check.

In any case, I've learned my lesson. Exfoliate no more than once a day. And take it easy on the Sea Breeze.

EXFOLIATION FOLLIES

Yesterday was unusual. I decided to go to a body sculpting class in the middle of the day. And that decision set into motion a chain of events that had very negative epidermal reprecussions.

When I came back, I Sea Breezed my face. In this weather, it really helps to cool things off, and doesn't cost me anything on my Con Ed bill. It felt cool, invigorating and refreshing. Then I showered, using a mild exfoliant on my face. When I came out of the shower, my skin was pink, smooth and gleaming. Perfect. Then I spent the rest of the afternoon in my apartment, doing work, and occasionally, Sea Breezing my face.

Then, for a change of scenery, I headed over to Barnes & Noble to buy my book club book, Brick Lane, and pick up the Best New American Short Story anthology, which contains a story by a good friend of mine. I sat in the cafe with an iced decaf Americano and edited a story I'd written. I was feeling good; in the groove of being a writer in New York.

I came home, and as I was a little perspirationy, I Sea Breezed. Then I spent several hours on another article, posted to my blog, and started my preparations for bed, including washing my face. Forgetting that I had already exfoliated in the shower, I used another face product that had apricot, almond and other abrasive ingredients. As soon as I was done, my face started to burn. As I watched it in the mirror, my face started to swell and its color deepened to a bright purple. I felt like I had spent three hours in the sun with baby oil on my face. Thinking it was an allergic reaction (although I'd been using the product for months now with no ill effects), I grabbed my Dove soap to scrub the offensive residue from my sensitive cheeks...forgetting that I had bought the exfoliating Dove instead of the regular.

Now my face was really mad. What could I do to appease it, to mitigate the burning sensations? What if I was having a severe anaphylactic shock-type of reaction to the exfoliant? Should I go to the emergency room even though I don't have health insurance? Or should I go to sleep, and hope for the best in the morning?

A quick survey of my apartment yielded an answer: the AHAVA advance moisturizer I had bought last time I was in Israel. I slathered it on, and my skin gulped it up like I had never fed it moisturizer before. Again, I slathered. And lay down to sleep, hoping for the best. I was plagued by dreams of living with a face forever marked by my exfoliation folly.

This morning, I rushed to the mirror, expecting to behold a grotesque and phantom-of-the-opera type disfigurement that would require my immediate hermitdom. But it was like it never happened. My face was back to normal. I wondered if I had dreamed the whole thing. Maybe it had been a hallucination, magically conjured by my mother and injected into my dream state to get me on the ball in terms of getting health insurance. Or maybe it was a sign of stress, externally manifesting the inner panic that happens when I write out my monthly rent check.

In any case, I've learned my lesson. Exfoliate no more than once a day. And take it easy on the Sea Breeze.