Monday, June 14, 2004

PONDERING THE PERSONAL

Thinking about posting something personal I've written. But I'm not sure I want it out there yet. It's about the college boyfriend who vanished into the void. Everyone else uses their blogs for this kind of stuff, but I haven't thus far...need to consider the future of this blog carefully. And hear from my loyal readers. Should I post bravely and brazenly about the personal, like Fish and Smitten and Ari (and others!) but without the benefit of relative anonymity?

9 Comments:

At 6:29 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger PartTimeMom said...

I don't have a problem with it! I would like to see it acutally, but then I don't really 'know' you - you'll never have to meet me face to face in the street...

 
At 9:52 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger singlegalnyc said...

Esther,
I've pondered the same, and for that reason (among others) have designed my blog anonymously. Granted I don't know how personal it will become, but I wanted to leave it open just in case I dare to bare my soul or discuss my sex life (would certainly increase hits, I think!) Anyway, does your webpage come up when you google yourself? If so, expect that this ex might come across your page one day. If not, or if you could care less how he reacts, I say, go ahead and post away! I'd certainly love to read what you have to write.. or you could always fictionalize it just a bit to differentiate from reality..
Cheers,
singlegalnyc

 
At 10:12 PM, June 14, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a tricky thing - once you've done it, you can remove the post, but Google will cache it and it will be available for all posterity. Which is why even in my most intimate writings on my website, there are no names. (Granted, my site isn't a blog, but as someone told me recently - "It might as well be!") It depends on why you want to write it. Do you _want_ Ex to come across it? Do you want comments/advice/support from your readers? Do you want to see how skillful you are at writing about personal things? You can always use just an initial to describe him, and then the only ones who will know for sure who he is are the people who knew you then. Personally, I love reading anything you've written. But definitely take your time thinking it over.
-M.

 
At 10:50 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Love, you can't hardly top some of the intimate recollections I have posted recently. Fish & Smitten do go "out there," too. Be your own judge. You know what's comfortable for you. And Judaism teaches us modesty and proportion in all things. So no help here, I guess.

 
At 11:13 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger Caryn said...

Since I'm just getting to know you, I would love to see personal writings. But, it is under your real name. My first blog was under my real name. I ended up abandoning it after a year and a half when I had a hankering to focus on writing other things--things I didn't want my parents to read. So the last (heh) 3 blogs I've had have all been anonymous, including my current. 'Tis a toughie. (And, I have confidence that my blog ADD has been quelled and I'll be sticking with A Picture of Me for a while yet. Hee.)

 
At 12:45 AM, June 15, 2004, Blogger Ari said...

Gah!!! What?? I lie on my blog? C'mon, couldn't make half that stuff up if I tried! I'm just teasing you - I mean, my stuff's legit, but still.

Anyway, on the topic of your blog, I had a thought. I'll email it to you.

 
At 12:59 AM, June 15, 2004, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Firstly, apologies to Ari. Didn't mean to leave her out, certainly not. I've added her. But there are many, many others I haven't added. Not because I don't think they're brave. But Smitten and Fish were the two whose posts got me a-thinkin' on this topic...

Do I want the ex to read this? On one level, absolutely. He should know that he acted poorly, and that I wish he had just been a smidge more responsive and responsible. But on another level, the infinite reach of the internet is astoundingly scary. So I'm careful. For the reasons Michael mentioned, and for others. I'm a private person. And I want to be more open with my feelings, with friends and supportive audience. But maybe the internet's not the best way to practice this.

I think I'm going to ponder this some more. If I finally post it, no one else is going to see the big deal. It's personal in an emotional sense, and most people wouldn't even think twice before posting it. But it's me, and I consider things way longer than most people.

 
At 10:06 AM, June 15, 2004, Blogger PN said...

I feel your pain. I've been wanting to get a bit more personal, but it is difficult to put some things out there. But it seems as though everyone else is in the same boat, and blogreaders appreciate personal experiences much more than most. This is why we log onto blogs so much. It touches us more so than a book because it's present. It's endless. We follow everyone's lives and we get attached to one another. If it makes you feel better to share something that's been on your mind, I say do it. What's in the past is in the past. We're there for you.

 
At 12:51 PM, June 15, 2004, Blogger Hilary said...

I hear ya Esther. As you know, I just went through the same thing and finally decided to put my name on my blog. Albeit, it's only my first name, but if my college boyfriend ever read it, he'd sure known I was referring to him. It definitely makes me think twice about posting some of the stuff I write about it, but maybe that just means that particular information shouldn't have been posted for all the world to see in the first place. Just my two cents...

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

My Urban Kvetch: PONDERING THE PERSONAL

Monday, June 14, 2004

PONDERING THE PERSONAL

Thinking about posting something personal I've written. But I'm not sure I want it out there yet. It's about the college boyfriend who vanished into the void. Everyone else uses their blogs for this kind of stuff, but I haven't thus far...need to consider the future of this blog carefully. And hear from my loyal readers. Should I post bravely and brazenly about the personal, like Fish and Smitten and Ari (and others!) but without the benefit of relative anonymity?

9 Comments:

At 6:29 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger PartTimeMom said...

I don't have a problem with it! I would like to see it acutally, but then I don't really 'know' you - you'll never have to meet me face to face in the street...

 
At 9:52 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger singlegalnyc said...

Esther,
I've pondered the same, and for that reason (among others) have designed my blog anonymously. Granted I don't know how personal it will become, but I wanted to leave it open just in case I dare to bare my soul or discuss my sex life (would certainly increase hits, I think!) Anyway, does your webpage come up when you google yourself? If so, expect that this ex might come across your page one day. If not, or if you could care less how he reacts, I say, go ahead and post away! I'd certainly love to read what you have to write.. or you could always fictionalize it just a bit to differentiate from reality..
Cheers,
singlegalnyc

 
At 10:12 PM, June 14, 2004, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a tricky thing - once you've done it, you can remove the post, but Google will cache it and it will be available for all posterity. Which is why even in my most intimate writings on my website, there are no names. (Granted, my site isn't a blog, but as someone told me recently - "It might as well be!") It depends on why you want to write it. Do you _want_ Ex to come across it? Do you want comments/advice/support from your readers? Do you want to see how skillful you are at writing about personal things? You can always use just an initial to describe him, and then the only ones who will know for sure who he is are the people who knew you then. Personally, I love reading anything you've written. But definitely take your time thinking it over.
-M.

 
At 10:50 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

Love, you can't hardly top some of the intimate recollections I have posted recently. Fish & Smitten do go "out there," too. Be your own judge. You know what's comfortable for you. And Judaism teaches us modesty and proportion in all things. So no help here, I guess.

 
At 11:13 PM, June 14, 2004, Blogger Caryn said...

Since I'm just getting to know you, I would love to see personal writings. But, it is under your real name. My first blog was under my real name. I ended up abandoning it after a year and a half when I had a hankering to focus on writing other things--things I didn't want my parents to read. So the last (heh) 3 blogs I've had have all been anonymous, including my current. 'Tis a toughie. (And, I have confidence that my blog ADD has been quelled and I'll be sticking with A Picture of Me for a while yet. Hee.)

 
At 12:45 AM, June 15, 2004, Blogger Ari said...

Gah!!! What?? I lie on my blog? C'mon, couldn't make half that stuff up if I tried! I'm just teasing you - I mean, my stuff's legit, but still.

Anyway, on the topic of your blog, I had a thought. I'll email it to you.

 
At 12:59 AM, June 15, 2004, Blogger Esther Kustanowitz said...

Firstly, apologies to Ari. Didn't mean to leave her out, certainly not. I've added her. But there are many, many others I haven't added. Not because I don't think they're brave. But Smitten and Fish were the two whose posts got me a-thinkin' on this topic...

Do I want the ex to read this? On one level, absolutely. He should know that he acted poorly, and that I wish he had just been a smidge more responsive and responsible. But on another level, the infinite reach of the internet is astoundingly scary. So I'm careful. For the reasons Michael mentioned, and for others. I'm a private person. And I want to be more open with my feelings, with friends and supportive audience. But maybe the internet's not the best way to practice this.

I think I'm going to ponder this some more. If I finally post it, no one else is going to see the big deal. It's personal in an emotional sense, and most people wouldn't even think twice before posting it. But it's me, and I consider things way longer than most people.

 
At 10:06 AM, June 15, 2004, Blogger PN said...

I feel your pain. I've been wanting to get a bit more personal, but it is difficult to put some things out there. But it seems as though everyone else is in the same boat, and blogreaders appreciate personal experiences much more than most. This is why we log onto blogs so much. It touches us more so than a book because it's present. It's endless. We follow everyone's lives and we get attached to one another. If it makes you feel better to share something that's been on your mind, I say do it. What's in the past is in the past. We're there for you.

 
At 12:51 PM, June 15, 2004, Blogger Hilary said...

I hear ya Esther. As you know, I just went through the same thing and finally decided to put my name on my blog. Albeit, it's only my first name, but if my college boyfriend ever read it, he'd sure known I was referring to him. It definitely makes me think twice about posting some of the stuff I write about it, but maybe that just means that particular information shouldn't have been posted for all the world to see in the first place. Just my two cents...

 

Post a Comment

<< Home