Tuesday, June 08, 2004

UNDERWEAR TRAUMA

I love sports, if only for the ludicrous stories generated by sports figures.

Kobe Bryant, a regular jokester himself, told news sources that the reason they lost their recent playoff game was because everyone was traumatized by Shaq's thong.

Let us consider "Shaq's Thong," as a phrase. Aside from being an excellent band name, the two words so juxtaposed should strike fear into the hearts of men. Shaq is like a jillion feet tall. (According to one internet site, the dude is 7 feet, 1 inch tall and weighs 315 pounds.) He's a big man. Can you just, for a moment, imagine what Shaq's thong must look like? You could drop it on Osama Bin Laden's cave and smother him and his cronies to death. We're talking KING THONG, here.

Hyperbole aside, I'm glad that professional sports figures have finally given us permission to fear the power of our own underwear.

2 Comments:

At 10:44 PM, June 08, 2004, Blogger Stephen said...

Damn, if Shaq had only started wearing the thong during the Wolves series, my team might still be alive...

 
At 9:33 AM, June 09, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

I don't know about thongs, but I'm reasonably sure that if Kobe Bryant goes to prison in Colorado, he will stick with the standard organge jumpsuit.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home

My Urban Kvetch: UNDERWEAR TRAUMA

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

UNDERWEAR TRAUMA

I love sports, if only for the ludicrous stories generated by sports figures.

Kobe Bryant, a regular jokester himself, told news sources that the reason they lost their recent playoff game was because everyone was traumatized by Shaq's thong.

Let us consider "Shaq's Thong," as a phrase. Aside from being an excellent band name, the two words so juxtaposed should strike fear into the hearts of men. Shaq is like a jillion feet tall. (According to one internet site, the dude is 7 feet, 1 inch tall and weighs 315 pounds.) He's a big man. Can you just, for a moment, imagine what Shaq's thong must look like? You could drop it on Osama Bin Laden's cave and smother him and his cronies to death. We're talking KING THONG, here.

Hyperbole aside, I'm glad that professional sports figures have finally given us permission to fear the power of our own underwear.

2 Comments:

At 10:44 PM, June 08, 2004, Blogger Stephen said...

Damn, if Shaq had only started wearing the thong during the Wolves series, my team might still be alive...

 
At 9:33 AM, June 09, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

I don't know about thongs, but I'm reasonably sure that if Kobe Bryant goes to prison in Colorado, he will stick with the standard organge jumpsuit.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home