JTV TO BOW IN FEB 05, AND HAVE THEY CALLED?
For those of you wanting an update on my impending skyrocket to television comedy success, JTV still has not called me to write and star in my own show. But here's what they already have on their plate:
According to Odoner [JTV's founder], JTV will have a “real downtown, let-your-hair-down, urban feel,” which he describes as a mix between Fox News, Comedy Central, MTV and ESPN.
Oh, Mr. Odoner, my hair is already down. As far as downtown is concerned, having done work for Jewish organizations all over this fair city, I'm perfectly positioned even from the Upper West Side.
Shows in the works include: “Two Jews, Three Opinions,” a Jewish version of CNN’s debate show “Crossfire”; “Jewishly Incorrect,” which Odoner describes as “a borderline-edgy, comedic political commentary show”; Jewish televangelism, hosted by a hip and provocative Gen-X rabbi, and “Genesis 9:0,” a Bible-based quiz show.
Good luck finding that hip and provocative Gen-X rabbi who's endorsed by and tolerant of all the Jewish denominations. I have a few suggestions, if they'd ever call me.
Also in development are “Nice Jewish Boyz,” a Jewish version of Comedy Central’s “The Man Show” that Odoner hopes will “smash the myth of the over-mothered Jewish male”; a music-video show hosted by Juliette Powell, a host and producer on MuchMusic; reality-based shows; biographies and documentaries from Israel, and a videotaped version of the ABC-syndicated radio show “The John Batchelor Show,” which boasts millions of listeners coast to coast and covers an array of topics from the war on terror and the economy to Hollywood politicos and planetary exploration.
Nice, but not surprising, that the women's demographic seems to have been left out. "Nice Jewish Boyz," which I initially thought was about boys who couldn't spell (too many JDate profiles for me), may work. But I'm not sure about the angle. How are you going to smash the myth of the over-mothered Jewish male when it's not a myth? Unless this turns into Springer, where Jewish mothers come on the show with their prodigal sons and berate them for not calling, I really don't understand the concept.
Where's Jewish Lifetime Television for Women? Or "No Premarital Sex and the City"? Where's our Jewish female talk show host to come home to and our must-see sitcoms about living single and Jewish in New York City?
I'll tell you. JTV: I've got your Oprah right here. Call it Urban Kvetch Live. I'll start a book club. I'll give away cars. I'll borrow from Ellen's zaniness (I'll dance over from the monologue set) and Ope's sensitivity. I'll interview celebrities, review plays, and do karaoke in whatever time slot I'm given. I'll cover Judaism, contemporary trends and culture. My show will become the place to be...people will line up around the block to sit in the studio audience (unless it's too cold outside--what, you want they should freeze?).
Or, we could do a sitcom. Call it what you will..."Esther and the City," "Esther, Queen of New York," "The Book of Esther," "Members of the Tribe," "Kustano-what?" Writer, series regular, special guest star status...Basically, I'm open.
I've got what you're looking for--all you've got to do is ask (and offer an attractive salary and medical benefits package).
Interested JTV executives should contact my representation. Thank you for your consideration.