Thursday, October 21, 2004

POLITICKING--NATIONAL CELIBACY DAY

Apparently, November 2 has been proclaimed as National Celibacy Day. I know this from my friend Mr. Internet, who provides me with tantalizing tidbits and then does not explain himself by supplying bibliographies.

The email I received (from several people, I might add) had no discernible origin and read:

Remember: November 2 is National Celibacy Day. No Bush. No Dick.

And that's all. No website, or "for more information" or "brought to you by your friends at..." Where'd this come from? And for Heaven's sake, WHY?

Look, I keep proclaiming that I don't talk politics here, and now I'm gonna. I'm a Democrat. And I have Republican friends. (Yes, even Jewish ones.) And I've been resisting the pull of partisan posting, because I just want everyone to get along. I do not wish my words to be divisive. As someone once said, whether or not you believe him, "I am a uniter, not a divider."

But I cannot stay silent any longer, because with this, we have reached apopleptic idiocy.

I ask you--is there any benefit, to anyone of either party, to proclaiming a National Celibacy Day?

Are people who participate in this going to walk around wearing T-shirts reading "I'm not having sex today?" (The marketing guru in me would like to suggest additional mottoes for these fictional T-shirts..."Lysistrata ain't got nothin' on me!" and "It's no headache...it's my political manifesto.") Otherwise, we have no idea who they are, and we're all on the honor system.

What about all the people who are celibate anyway? I know the media would have us believe that everyone's either thinking about it or doing it 24/7, but if you think about it, that means no one would have any time for blogging. Plus, the workplace would become a tricky kind of environment to navigate, what with people passing up meetings for matings. It takes two to tango, I'm told, and if sitcom is to be believed, all over the United States there are couples who are abstaining from coupling because they're too tired. Do they get retroactive credit for "observing" this Day? Then there are all the religious reasons for which people (from all faiths) are celibate. In high school we used to call this de facto celibacy being "shomer negiah*, but not by choice."

Because the credo of National Celibacy Day seems to be anti-Bush, I'm going to assume that the edict is of Democratic origin, which really embarrasses me. It seems as random as National Inside Out Underwear Day, or National Generic Brand Chocolate Chips Day, or National Walking Down Amsterdam Instead of Broadway Day. Because no one will know you're doing it unless you tell them, and once you tell them, they will look at you like you just announced that Britney Spears has joined your shul. (Actually, given Brit's embrace of Kabbalah, that's a bad example, because it is more likely to happen.)

This kind of proclamation doesn't make any kind of political statement and, barring the use of invasive home videotaping or a spare CSI team testing your clothes for "DNA," your participation in this purported phenomenon is inherently unprovable.

What do I suggest? At this point, let us not declare any other special Day until after Election Day. Vote for whichever candidate floats your political (fishing? or Swift?) boat. Wear a ten-gallon hat, or a Kerry/Edwards button, or a T-shirt that proclaims your loyalty, if you must make a statement.

Pat Benatar said it best: "Stop using sex as a weapon."


*Define shomer negiah? Oy. Here's Jewish.com to help.

4 Comments:

At 7:13 PM, October 21, 2004, Blogger Bronco Buddha said...

Extremely well said! While I certainly have strong opinions on the upcoming election, I really resent people on both sides of the aisle who spew endless vitriol at the other candidate, coming up with new and (not so) creative invectives to hurl (National Celibacy Day, or waving Flip-Flops to signify Kerry). Is it too much to ask people to make their points and behave like mature adults? I've always thought an argument was much more likely to sway my opinion if it was stated dispassionately. If I am nuts for thinking this way, I'm glad that I am not alone.

 
At 10:22 PM, October 21, 2004, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

Actually we could have a lot of fun creating more "silly days."

Next Monday is going to be "National Chew Gum and Pat your Stomach Day" in which we'll learn who really isn't coordinated and who is.

And I am really gung ho about beginning a "National Spit and Gargle Day." It will be sponsored by Crest or Colgate and be about dental hygiene.

See Esther, I am working on my lines for my VH-1 debut. ;)

 
At 9:40 AM, October 22, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

I bet you kissed boys in high school! Judging from your pictures, you surely had plenty of opportunities. And that's why you work as a freelance at home--too dangerous for you to go outside. :>)

 
At 4:33 AM, October 23, 2004, Blogger Madame D said...

Well, I for one am almost fearful of admitting that I voted for Bush last time, and am voting for him again. All my really democratic friends (I'm a moderate) can say as for why they're voting for Kerry..."He's not Bush". Wow, such a well thought-out political philosophy! I'm sure they put a whole 5 seconds into THAT one! (I actually thought about it, listened to platforms, paid attention, that sort of thing. I actually have reasons behind my decision, though I'm damn sure not sharing, it's like fighting with Mormons!)
On the other hand, the slogan is hilarious. I can't believe we've had these guys running the country for four years, and I didn't realize how embarrassing their two names were combined, or how perfect. Thank you for helping to aid in my enlightenment!

 

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My Urban Kvetch: POLITICKING--NATIONAL CELIBACY DAY

Thursday, October 21, 2004

POLITICKING--NATIONAL CELIBACY DAY

Apparently, November 2 has been proclaimed as National Celibacy Day. I know this from my friend Mr. Internet, who provides me with tantalizing tidbits and then does not explain himself by supplying bibliographies.

The email I received (from several people, I might add) had no discernible origin and read:

Remember: November 2 is National Celibacy Day. No Bush. No Dick.

And that's all. No website, or "for more information" or "brought to you by your friends at..." Where'd this come from? And for Heaven's sake, WHY?

Look, I keep proclaiming that I don't talk politics here, and now I'm gonna. I'm a Democrat. And I have Republican friends. (Yes, even Jewish ones.) And I've been resisting the pull of partisan posting, because I just want everyone to get along. I do not wish my words to be divisive. As someone once said, whether or not you believe him, "I am a uniter, not a divider."

But I cannot stay silent any longer, because with this, we have reached apopleptic idiocy.

I ask you--is there any benefit, to anyone of either party, to proclaiming a National Celibacy Day?

Are people who participate in this going to walk around wearing T-shirts reading "I'm not having sex today?" (The marketing guru in me would like to suggest additional mottoes for these fictional T-shirts..."Lysistrata ain't got nothin' on me!" and "It's no headache...it's my political manifesto.") Otherwise, we have no idea who they are, and we're all on the honor system.

What about all the people who are celibate anyway? I know the media would have us believe that everyone's either thinking about it or doing it 24/7, but if you think about it, that means no one would have any time for blogging. Plus, the workplace would become a tricky kind of environment to navigate, what with people passing up meetings for matings. It takes two to tango, I'm told, and if sitcom is to be believed, all over the United States there are couples who are abstaining from coupling because they're too tired. Do they get retroactive credit for "observing" this Day? Then there are all the religious reasons for which people (from all faiths) are celibate. In high school we used to call this de facto celibacy being "shomer negiah*, but not by choice."

Because the credo of National Celibacy Day seems to be anti-Bush, I'm going to assume that the edict is of Democratic origin, which really embarrasses me. It seems as random as National Inside Out Underwear Day, or National Generic Brand Chocolate Chips Day, or National Walking Down Amsterdam Instead of Broadway Day. Because no one will know you're doing it unless you tell them, and once you tell them, they will look at you like you just announced that Britney Spears has joined your shul. (Actually, given Brit's embrace of Kabbalah, that's a bad example, because it is more likely to happen.)

This kind of proclamation doesn't make any kind of political statement and, barring the use of invasive home videotaping or a spare CSI team testing your clothes for "DNA," your participation in this purported phenomenon is inherently unprovable.

What do I suggest? At this point, let us not declare any other special Day until after Election Day. Vote for whichever candidate floats your political (fishing? or Swift?) boat. Wear a ten-gallon hat, or a Kerry/Edwards button, or a T-shirt that proclaims your loyalty, if you must make a statement.

Pat Benatar said it best: "Stop using sex as a weapon."


*Define shomer negiah? Oy. Here's Jewish.com to help.

4 Comments:

At 7:13 PM, October 21, 2004, Blogger Bronco Buddha said...

Extremely well said! While I certainly have strong opinions on the upcoming election, I really resent people on both sides of the aisle who spew endless vitriol at the other candidate, coming up with new and (not so) creative invectives to hurl (National Celibacy Day, or waving Flip-Flops to signify Kerry). Is it too much to ask people to make their points and behave like mature adults? I've always thought an argument was much more likely to sway my opinion if it was stated dispassionately. If I am nuts for thinking this way, I'm glad that I am not alone.

 
At 10:22 PM, October 21, 2004, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

Actually we could have a lot of fun creating more "silly days."

Next Monday is going to be "National Chew Gum and Pat your Stomach Day" in which we'll learn who really isn't coordinated and who is.

And I am really gung ho about beginning a "National Spit and Gargle Day." It will be sponsored by Crest or Colgate and be about dental hygiene.

See Esther, I am working on my lines for my VH-1 debut. ;)

 
At 9:40 AM, October 22, 2004, Blogger Michael said...

I bet you kissed boys in high school! Judging from your pictures, you surely had plenty of opportunities. And that's why you work as a freelance at home--too dangerous for you to go outside. :>)

 
At 4:33 AM, October 23, 2004, Blogger Madame D said...

Well, I for one am almost fearful of admitting that I voted for Bush last time, and am voting for him again. All my really democratic friends (I'm a moderate) can say as for why they're voting for Kerry..."He's not Bush". Wow, such a well thought-out political philosophy! I'm sure they put a whole 5 seconds into THAT one! (I actually thought about it, listened to platforms, paid attention, that sort of thing. I actually have reasons behind my decision, though I'm damn sure not sharing, it's like fighting with Mormons!)
On the other hand, the slogan is hilarious. I can't believe we've had these guys running the country for four years, and I didn't realize how embarrassing their two names were combined, or how perfect. Thank you for helping to aid in my enlightenment!

 

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