I just realized, today is my half-birthday. So mark your calendars, we're only six months away from my next birthday party. I'm officially taking advice as to location for next year's event, so vote early and often.
How can you celebrate with me on this partially auspicious half-occasion? Feel free to send me half a present or half a card or some other sort of half-assed commemoration. Of course I'm kidding. You don't half to.
PS: If you write "half" enough times, it starts to look like it's spelled wrong.