PLEASE RESPECT LINDSAY LOHAN'S PRIVACY

An appeal to all my readers:

Please. I beg of you. Respect Lindsay Lohan's privacy.

Maybe then she'll stop making stabs at self-indulgent, teen angsty pop tunes wherein she decries all the attention she's getting and makes her plea for a private life.

Well I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy
Why can't you just let me do
The things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I dont understand
Why would you wanna bring me down
When I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
(But not the way that you want me to)
(Chorus) I'm tired of rumors started
I'm sick of bein' followed
I'm tired of people lyin' sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is
--From "Rumors," by Lindsay Lohan

Why is poor Lindsay's privacy being compromised? Is it her overexposure to both the teen and thirty-something male demographic? Is it her insistence that in addition to being the idol of teenagers and pinup girl for older fans, she is also a pop princess with an ever-expanding bosom? Perhaps because of her huge um, bank account? Or the fact that she’s hanging out with Paris Hilton? You can’t tell me that you’re going to hang out with PH (or even date ex-whatever Wilmer Wonderama) and expect your privacy to be respected…

Is it wrong that I can't wait for Eminem to take his shots at her and the whole pop princess phenomenon? I think it might go like this:

All those girlies think they own the worldie
Oughtta stop posin’ like they're sad and surly
They’re all newbies, pop tarts who shake their boobies
Acting like their sh**’s made of pearls and rubies
Lindsay Lohan you're a friend to no one
Struttin’ and preenin’ with the sex you’re sowin’
Hangin’ with Hilton, your virtue’s wiltin’
Every single day your shirts are more filled-in,
And then there’s still more, you’re dating Wilmer
All this news of you is making me ill more
I'm telling you now you’ve got me at the brink
And I'm almost ready to lip-Ashlee-sync.

The scary thing is, that rap took me about five minutes to write. Yes, the Urban Kvetch has missed her calling. She’s quitting Jewish singles columnist life to become a(n extremely) white, Jewish, female rapper: MC Kvetch. Oh, would her yeshiva high school be proud.

PLEASE RESPECT LINDSAY LOHAN'S PRIVACY

An appeal to all my readers:

Please. I beg of you. Respect Lindsay Lohan's privacy.

Maybe then she'll stop making stabs at self-indulgent, teen angsty pop tunes wherein she decries all the attention she's getting and makes her plea for a private life.

Well I just need a little space to breathe
Can you please respect my privacy
Why can't you just let me do
The things I wanna do
I just wanna be me
I dont understand
Why would you wanna bring me down
When I'm only having fun
I'm gonna live my life
(But not the way that you want me to)
(Chorus) I'm tired of rumors started
I'm sick of bein' followed
I'm tired of people lyin' sayin' what they want about me
Why can't they back up off me
Why can't they let me live
I'm gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is
--From "Rumors," by Lindsay Lohan

Why is poor Lindsay's privacy being compromised? Is it her overexposure to both the teen and thirty-something male demographic? Is it her insistence that in addition to being the idol of teenagers and pinup girl for older fans, she is also a pop princess with an ever-expanding bosom? Perhaps because of her huge um, bank account? Or the fact that she’s hanging out with Paris Hilton? You can’t tell me that you’re going to hang out with PH (or even date ex-whatever Wilmer Wonderama) and expect your privacy to be respected…

Is it wrong that I can't wait for Eminem to take his shots at her and the whole pop princess phenomenon? I think it might go like this:

All those girlies think they own the worldie
Oughtta stop posin’ like they're sad and surly
They’re all newbies, pop tarts who shake their boobies
Acting like their sh**’s made of pearls and rubies
Lindsay Lohan you're a friend to no one
Struttin’ and preenin’ with the sex you’re sowin’
Hangin’ with Hilton, your virtue’s wiltin’
Every single day your shirts are more filled-in,
And then there’s still more, you’re dating Wilmer
All this news of you is making me ill more
I'm telling you now you’ve got me at the brink
And I'm almost ready to lip-Ashlee-sync.

The scary thing is, that rap took me about five minutes to write. Yes, the Urban Kvetch has missed her calling. She’s quitting Jewish singles columnist life to become a(n extremely) white, Jewish, female rapper: MC Kvetch. Oh, would her yeshiva high school be proud.